Wednesday, 12 June 2013

Say it. Whatever it is

Today I've been reading a book entitled fuck it: the ultimate spiritual way. It speaks to me right now as the kind of attitude I would like to embrace. The fuck it in the title isn't fuck it I've had enough I want out or fuck it things aren't working for me why should I bother trying anymore. It is the kind of fuck it that says I'm going to start looking after me. The kind where you can see what really matters and just as important seeing the things that really don't matter at all.

You know what? It's time to be selfish. Time to begin doing things for my own reasons and not just to placate others. Time to just not give a fuck what the rest think because in the end you've just got to be yourself or you'll never be happy. Time to just say what I feel because that's the way I feel.

People are not going to hate me for it. Even if they do it would be well worth it if I could stop hating myself. If you've ever once left a situation seething because you decided against saying what you really needed to say, then you have to understand that speaking your mind in the long run has to have a positive effect on overall self-esteem. And maybe that is it. Self-Esteem. If your not going to love yourself then how can you ever really be happy to be alive. Furthermore, how can you ever expect someone to really love you when you're not showing them who you truly are.

People like me, we get caught up in this thing pick-up artists call one-itis. Basically one-itis means we can't see past this one girl. Everything about the target at this point seems perfect. Really, no other woman will do. I am a sucker for it. I'm a sucker. I used to think that it was the PUA's who were missing the point when they would say things like forget about her, look around, there are literally millions of women out there for you. Now I see how right they are. When I think about it now I wonder how I could ever have tied all my emotions up in one person who probably won't give a shit about me anyway. There are always better looking girls out there, funnier ones too. More interesting girls and looser girls too. What did you say? None of them are her? Good, that's just what I'm looking for. Fuck it, I'm getting mine now.

Why is it that we all seem to worry so much about what other people think of us? Sure, we don't want our friends to think we're murder's or Jimmy Saville. Or worst of all, boring. But realistically most of us really are not that bad. In fact I would say most of us are damn good people. Think of the worst thing you have ever done and I'm guessing it wasn't really all that bad. Anyway, what I'm trying to get at via that serpentine introduction, is that we have to stop giving a fuck about what other people think about what we say or do. Look at yourself and be who you are, not just getting as close to that person as you think people are willing to accept. Saying what you want is the most liberating thing you'll ever do. I started doing it recently and it felt great. It doesn't mean that everything you say is going to be joyfully accepted by everyone but I guarentee you will feel alot better for doing it. Listen to John C. Parkin

"So I said fuck it to trying to be anything other than I am. In this moment I stopped judging myself. And shit, what a relief that was. What a relief that is"

And while we are trying to stop judging ourselves why don't we give evryone else a break and stop judging them. I think from now on the only people I want to pass judgement on are those who just love to judge others. I absolutely fucking hate narrow-mindedness. I mean really we have no reason to be bothered by what other people are doing if we can just be happy in what we are doing ourselves. What's wrong with live and let live. It doesn't mean I have to like everything on earth but it does mean accepting that someone else might enjoy something I don't and letting them have at it.

So go for it this week. If you fancy someone, let them know.( by the way girls this includes you. What guy doesn't want to hear that). If you want a tattoo or a piercing, now is the time. Take a sick day without remorse. Say no to someone. Finish work friday night and take a flight to Amsterdam for the weekend. Who's stopping you. Get a fake tan. Eat an entire packet of biscuits with one cup of tea and say fuck it to everyone's diet talk and bootcamps. Smoke without feeling guilty. Admit that you really don't care about any religion. Have some impure thoughts.

Do what you want...